Tips for Women Travelers in Indonesia

I’m careful around my male friends (I try not to be alone with them), so our relationship isn’t misconstrued. And, as a woman of Asian descent, I did get a few strange looks being out with my white American male friends. There is an icky history of somewhat exploitative white man-Asian woman relationships throughout Asia (basically, prostitution and the like), so your race and the race of your male friends and boyfriends can definitely impact how other people view and treat you.

That being said, it’s totally possible to date locals, as long as you keep more conservative local customs in mind. And dating in general is probably easier in more urban areas, especially foreigner-heavy cities like Jogjakarta, Bali, and Jakarta.

Winona says: No expat or traveler I knew dated locals in the Yogyakarta area. Local Muslim men are usually only interested in hookups and I didn’t get to know enough Christian men to learn anything about their dating culture.

Otherwise, the men are all pretty varied, even if seen through the prism of Indonesian culture and a more overt religiosity. Some like sports; some like movies. Some are shy; some are social. Some know a lot of English and about the West, others don’t. If I rack my head for types, I come up short.

Winona says: I don’t think I can identify “types.” All the men I got to know were individuals, and I didn’t get familiar with any sort of general stereotypes.

Winona says: The government still sees LGBTQ identity as a disease. If someone is identified as such they have no real protection under Indonesian laws. Despite this, there is definitely a LGBTQ community in Yogyakarta, especially among the trans community. Foreigners are probably safe, although please avoid PDA. The cops occasionally raid common LGBTQ hangout spots and will detain people overnight.

Note: PKBI is the Planned Parenthood equivalent in Yogyakarta and Indonesia in general. Contact them if you need help or information on LGBTQ, birth control, or any other women’s health services. They are a legal organization, but are radically liberal for the region.

On the flipside, this depends a lot on where you are. Even if I couldn’t get out that late compared to my male friends, I went out a lot later and more frequently than my female friends in more rural areas. And, I met tons of women throughout my time here, and what do you know? They’re all very different. Most of my friends were university-educated, working, and quite independent. Quite a few of them went out late, drank, smoked, had boyfriends, and argued with their (many) male friends.

Other women I met were quieter and more conservative, maybe more family-focused, but they too had university degrees and full-time jobs. Then, there were women like my ex-host-mother who wore hijab, was a devout Muslim, studied Arabic, ran multiple independent businesses, and was seen as a leader in her neighborhood, whom many, including men, deferred to. And, most of my female students, even if they were amazed that I liked to go out by myself and rode ojeks (motorcycle taxis) and traveled a lot independently, generally expected that they would enter university and have careers.

So, a mixed bag. Indonesia’s not a feminist utopia, but then I’m not sure one exists. It’s a rapidly changing society that differs wildly, place to place. If you visit, I’d err on the side of conservatism, especially outside foreigner-heavy spots like Bali, Jogjakarta, and Jakarta, but the country may surprise you.

Winona says: Generally I don’t think there’s any serious social segregation. All the women I met were very ambitious and felt free to aspire to do what they want. However, I’m sure in rural areas genders are more divided.

But then, the other women in work could get pretty loud (Palembangers are loud people in general; a lot of conversations sound like screaming. This is normal). EVERYONE drives a motorbike, including middle-aged and elderly housewives (it was just weird that I went off on motorcycle taxis alone all the time). And, with my younger, university friends, I fit in just fine.

Winona says: Local women are often Muslim, or at least raised in a Islamic culture. They tend to cover up more and dress more conservatively than foreign women.

There are a few gender-segregated schools, though I have no personal experience with them. Public education is generally co-educational, though some classrooms are pretty separated down the line by gender. It can get awkward if boys work with girls, though my schools haven’t been like that, beyond adolescent awkwardness.

There are many spas and salons that are catered only to women, which are wonderful. And generally, people do socialize within their genders, so I spent a lot of time in traditional markets, the pasar, where women definitely reign (even if men are there). I learned to bargain from the female teachers at my school!

Winona says: Mosques and prayer halls have separate areas for women and men. Some spas and massage places are women only.

American women are generally seen as being freer, more tomboyish, and often, more promiscuous; that is mostly from movies, music, and TV, I suspect. How this shows in treatment of foreign women varies; some are pretty forgiving of my foibles as a result. I do get corrected in my behavior quite a bit, though, mainly for not being aware of my safety or local customs.

Something you may also find frustrating, depending on what capacity you’re in Indonesia for, is people’s attempts to make you safer, as a woman. By this, I mean, people may caution you or downright tell you not to go outside at night, not to walk alone, not to go here and there, and may even try to be the only ones to take you anywhere so you won’t be in danger. Don’t worry; it’s totally possible to have a fairly independent life. I managed it, but you have to be careful and polite in how you get people to understand you’ll be fine.

Winona says: The general stereotype of foreign women is that we are “loose” and love to party. However locals are generally very kind and helpful and welcome your presence in Yogyakarta.

I primarily use ojeks, taxis, and becaks. Bluebird is a reputable taxi company and is based in most major cities. If it’s not a taxi company like that, stick to ones with meters. Or, bargain in advance for the price. I’ve never had a problem with taxis, but definitely be aware of where you’re going. Ojeks, motorcycle taxis, are hit or miss, and you should have a helmet if you plan on using them with any regularity.

As a rule, I never used ojeks after dark and tried to stick to guys I knew were good, safe drivers. Becaks, carts pulled by motorcycle or bicycle, tend to be fine, but it can be a little nerve-wracking being in that little cart on a busy road. I only used them for short distances that were just a little too long to walk.

Winona says: At least in Yogyakarta, taxis are safe to take. I felt comfortable grabbing a cab on my own without worry. The traffic is bad, so scooters or motorcycles can be dangerous, but they’re also the most practical and cheap. I never took buses due to their sporadic schedule and how overcrowded they are.

In my city, I’d be confused by seeing women in short dresses, skirts, and shorts and sleeveless blouses and dresses, but I found out later these were mostly Chinese-Indonesians and/or Christians. Since I worked in a majority-Muslim school at first and lived in a Muslim area, I erred on the conservative side. I now work in a school owned by Chinese Christians so there I dress a bit more casually. I also work in a mostly Muslim middle school so I dress more conservatively and formally there.

Winona says: Skirts, dresses, pants, and shorts above the knees are not practical outside of expat areas. Keep shoulders covered, but otherwise short sleeves are okay. The closer you are to Malioboro the less conservatively you need to dress. Locals are usually in long pants or skirts and at least 3/4 length sleeves.