What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

March 25, 2015

One of the biggest struggles a woman in Tanzania faces is living with the cultural attitudes towards women. As a strong, independent, educated young woman who is known for being blunt and for always speaking her mind, dealing with the attitude towards women here has been difficult.

Take that young woman and place her into a culture that believes that the opinion of women is probably wrong and always to be ignored, and fireworks explode on the inside. I have had to make a number of changes in the way I would normally go about my daily life. I have learned to bite my tongue, to accept when my opinion is ignored, and to date in a completely different way.

What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

I am a feminist—I believe in the equality of men and women, and in equality for every person. Most of the locals here have never heard the word feminist, and culturally the concept is foreign to them. While the men here are in many ways Westernised, they have no acceptance of the concept of equality. Everyday situations arise where my mind is screaming that I should be shown some respect, but I understand that I have chosen to be here and it is not my place to try and alter the cultures and traditions.

If she cannot carry a baby to term the danger is not only that her husband will leave her, but also her whole family and her friends might ostracize her.

Standing up for what I believe in often makes me the ‘crazy white woman’—a title I accept if it means that I am not being tricked into paying inflated prices or buying into corruption. Day to day living though requires tongue biting, and not making a scene.

What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

I have been here for three years now, and I have found it much more difficult to make local female friends than male. I think one of the reasons is that I meet fewer local women than men. They are not running schools or orphanages, or in fact businesses in general, so I meet fewer and rarely have an opportunity to socialise with them. The attitude of many I have met see us all as disrespectful white women, who won’t be here for long.

It is acceptable for men to cheat, but completely unacceptable for women.

It is also seen as a women’s job to successfully carry children. A young woman with whom I worked has miscarried four children. She is so scared that she is unable to do her ‘duty’ and her husband will leave her. If she cannot carry a baby to term the danger is not only that her husband will leave her, but also her whole family and her friends might ostracize her. Nothing anyone can say or do will help her with this.

What It’s Like to Be a Woman in Tanzania

Most Tanzanian men have several girlfriends—and the married ones, several wives. Cheating in their relationships is an everyday occurrence. It is acceptable for men to cheat, but completely unacceptable for women. In most cases, this is how it works here. In the cross cultural relationships I have witnessed here, or been a part of, trust is a significant issue. That and the fact that women in Tanzania should not question what her man chooses to tell her—to do so is to show disrespect.

It is difficult to reconcile the woman you are, with the woman you need to be to survive. It is a steep learning curve—knowing when to stand up for yourself, and when to let it go.

The culture here reminds me of western culture sixty or more years ago, when women rarely working outside the home. They cooked and cleaned, while the men took care of business. So it is here—for the most part.

A woman coming to Africa needs to be ready for this piece of culture. It is difficult to reconcile the woman you are, with the woman you need to be to survive. It is a steep learning curve—knowing when to stand up for yourself, and when to let it go. I am grateful for technology, and the ability to stay in contact with the women in my other life at home. Without having them there, I would find it difficult to survive here.