What It’s Like to Move Abroad in Your Thirties

There was a time when I imagined my future life in the most typical way. I saw a husband, a career, 2.5 children and a house with a white picket fence. Yet, at the ripe young age of 34, none of these things have panned out nor am I certain I want them anymore. Instead I just want to figure out what it is that I truly want, whether it is love or a family or to be solely focused on my career.

At 34, young to some, and old to others, I decided to leave my life of normalcy and embark on an adventure. I decided to take off to Italy and Germany. Maybe this is one of those things women in their twenties do, but with no children nor husband, I am able to just go. But, “just going” is the difficult part.

Many of my friends are married and having children, while I am still trying to find my place in the world.

As I have gotten older, I tend to think things through more. There are far too many what ifs and consequences. I left a job that might not be waiting for me when I get back. What if I go back home and am in the exact same place I started? That place wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t fulfilling nor was it making me happy. I felt as though things were a little stagnant for me, so here I am in Italy doing something out of character for me.

Many of my friends are married and having children, while I am still trying to find my place in the world. Society sets the standard for what is considered normal and it sometimes makes us feel inadequate. If I dictated my life based on those “norms” I would probably be depressed about not having achieved them yet.

I can say 100 per cent that I won’t regret the decision I made, but it is still a little scary not knowing the future. Where will I be in three months, six months, or a year? If I was in my twenties, this would not have even crossed my mind. I would have left with no savings and not a care in the world, probably calling home for money.

That’s the beauty of your twenties; for many, it really is possible to be carefree. Although that would have been me 10 years ago, it is not me now.

What It’s Like to Move Abroad in Your Thirties

I’m happy with my decision, but I felt like I had to explain the why each time I told people I was leaving for an extended period of time. Maybe people would understand better if I had some exciting job lined up, or if I had left for love. I just had to leave and I don’t even know if I know why. I may realize it at the end of my journey.

I’m not sure if there is a peak age to venture off, but there are some benefits to moving abroad in your thirties. One of the big ones for me was learning how to save money. This has always been difficult for me, but I knew that if I really wanted to move, I had to change my spending habits. No more shopping for clothes, shoes or cosmetics. Nights out became less frequent too. I also didn’t want to be in a position to have to rely on anyone, so even in Italy I have been careful about my spending.

I can’t say it’s been easy. I am in Milan where everywhere I turn there is somewhere or something to spend money on. But if I want to stay longer than a week, I need to chose wisely.

Maybe people would understand better if I had some exciting job lined up, or if I had left for love.

Although they say, another year older, but none the wiser, I don’t believe this is entirely true. I may not be Ghandi, but as I get older, I know who I am as a person, and this brings me a sense of enlightenment. I didn’t make this decision on a whim, and I know that I am doing this for myself.

I’m confident enough in my own skin that no matter what happens, I won’t beat myself up over it. If things work out in Europe, fantastic. If they don’t work out and I leave earlier than expected, I can leave happy knowing that at least I tried.

What It’s Like to Move Abroad in Your Thirties l For more about traveling during your thirties visit: Mt. Kilimanjaro: Celebrating my 35th Birthday at 19,340 Feet