What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men?

February 27, 2015
italy, italy featured, italy men, men
What's It Really Like to Date Italian Men Italian Men: My Ultimate Weakness

What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men?

Italians have a very particular way of doing things. They are proud of their heritage and love their home country. It’s why their brand is famous worldwide.  This may also be what makes Italian men so self-assured when approaching foreign women. Many will basically pick girls up anywhere, anytime. From asking what book you are reading on the metro, to asking if you know where the wine is in the supermarket, to literally stopping you in the street with a moped (yup, happened) they will flirt with you.

Many guys will offer a personal tour of the city, which can be quite romantic if you’re into him. Another popular dating opener is to ask you for private English lessons. A teacher friend of mine got stung with this a number of times. Italian men also have an open-minded and friendly approach to dating. Say he happens to be your boss, or maybe the friend of your ex—if everyone is cool with it, he will take the bull by the horns.

Italians often think that foreign women are just looking for a good time, which is why they are so forward with us. This can have an upside though as they do make an effort to get your attention. Want to know what to expect? Here are some tips:

What’s It’s Really Like to Date Italian Men

How to Deal with the Ex-Factor

Due to this open-mindedness, Italian men are often still close friends with their exes. A girl I know was invited to dinner with her boyfriend’s ex and her family, which she politely declined. I am often invited to stay over with my man in his exes’ homes who live in different Italian cities. It’s totally normal for many Italian guys to have cinema and dinner dates with their exes while dating someone new.

This can be construed as a negative point about dating here. But, it has also taught me to be more open and to trust more fully. My northern European approach to dating and avoiding exes like the plague can look downright cold to big-hearted Italians.

I turned down many advances from my first Italian boss until he finally gave up after I refused to go to the opera with him. What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men?

How to Turn Down an Italian Man

The boldness of Italian men can make turning them down a bit tricky. I turned down many advances from my first Italian boss until he finally gave up after I refused to go to the opera with him. I was tempted though, the Opera House in Rome is to die for! Still, I didn’t go for it.

My job remained and the situation finally ended, but it had gone on for months. Many Italians have since advised me that it’s best to spell it out in no uncertain terms from the start when you’re not interested. Otherwise, they might think it’s a game of chase. My friends and I have often been perplexed to find men thinking they are in after a smile and a brief conversation. But it’s all in good fun so it goes with the territory.

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What to Expect on an Italian Date

Italy has a lot to offer when it comes to beauty and romantic hang outs. When an Italian brings you on a date chances are, it will be a memorable one, at least for the ambience alone. I once had an amazing date in a secluded hilltop bar in Rome. My partner wasn’t what I was looking for but the stunning wraparound view of the city lights certainly made for a great night nonetheless!

As for date conversation, English at a good level is not as widespread as you might think in Rome. My friends and I like to hang out in local bars and clubs that aren’t touristy. Many of my friends have started dating guys who they could barely speak to in the beginning! (Hence the English lessons pick up line). But hey, there’s nothing like adding a little mystery to a date…

So, have fun. Romantic and confident Italian men, coupled with the atmosphere and weather of Italy, can make for a pretty magical dating scene.

What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men?

Date Italian Men
Sharon in Italy

Related Reading

How to Date an Italian Man
After Giving Up on Finding Romance in Italy, This is What Happened
Italian Men: My Ultimate Weakness
Moving to Italy, Learning Italian, and Falling in Love
Ciao, Bella!: On Being a Foreign Woman in Italy
Tips for Women Travelers in Italy

Have you dated Italian men? What were your impressions? Email us at editor@pinkpangea.com for information abuto sharing your experience and advice with the Pink Pangea community. We can’t wait to hear from you. Italian Men: The Unofficial Guide. What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men


About Sharon Moran

AvatarSharon Moran is a professional singer and freelance writer in Rome, living in a beautiful countryside villa with her Roman man while still working in the eternal city.

20 thoughts on “What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men?

  1. Avatar
    Ria
    May 30, 2019
    Reply

    I’m a Filipina (31) and had this Italian guy (32) whom I’ve chatted on/off for almost 3 years now. Just this month, he decided to visit me here in my country for 3 weeks (to see me). I guess, we now official boyfriend/girlfriend. But we didn’t post our pics together in fb. A year ago (July/August), I decided to break up with him (had a feeling that he got a new girlfriend and keeping me on the other side) due to the distance. Told him, its better were just friends. He agreed to be just friends so the daily communication in messenger stopped. I’ve also unfriended him in fb (I can still see the lovey-dovey post of him and his ex whom he said extorted money from him so he broke up with her). I was also stalking on the girl (haha I still can’t move on since I can still see their pics together). I also unfriended him in order to move on. But before the break-up, we were making plans to travel together. Since we’ve broke up I told my best friend (I didn’t tell her about the Italian guy) I wanna visit them in NZ. Then, the Italian guy found out that month after, I’ve unfriended (in fb) him. In order to not sound bitter, I made a lie that I’ve accidentally unfriended him since I was unfriending people I don’t know in fb. He’s also friends with my sister in fb. I added him again in fb (he posted on my fb wall which my mom and sis reacted). Both mom and sis knew were no longer an item. After that break-up, we started to chat again tho i’ve been cautious and just stay as friends. At that time, we chatted 3 times a week. Sometimes, we exchanged pics of the things we normally do at home & work. Then, I told him I am going to NZ to visit my bestfriend. He knows about my bestfriend and my dream to visit NZ. So we keep in touch more frequently.Told me when I will have my holidays in NZ. The communication we had increased when I was in NZ. It was everyday chatting and he was keen on videochatting. He also expressed his fear that I might not be back to my country which worries him. We would be really worlds’ apart. In one of our chat, he asked when its possible to met me personally whom I told him that next year (2020) will also be fine but in my mind, it won’t happen since I will be going to apply for a study visa in NZ the year after. To my surprise, he ask if its possible to met earlier which I said okay. So he asked what month is best to visit. I made a suggestion that May 2019 would be good since its summer. He really came here after 3 years on/off online relationship we had. During our holidays together, he’s been telling me about his country, the good things there, what season is the best to visit (which I told him that if I will visit one day probably next year). He’s met my family and relatives, got to experience what’s its like in my country. Some of the stereotypes I’ve read here, I’ve seen in him but not the mama’s boy. He didn’t have a good relationship with his mom and he grew up not close to his dad. Now, I’m feeling confused because half of me wants to be together with him in Italy but half of me wants to go back to NZ( to study and work). I also don’t want to pressure him much about what we have at the moment but he has mentioned about having family together in the future. Now, he’s back to his country. I’ve contemplated if he will be serious to move to the next step of our relationship…

  2. Avatar
    ross
    April 6, 2019
    Reply

    So I have dated an Italian guy for almost a year 2+ years ago. I fell so hard because he’s the most romantic, passionate and caring person I’ve known. Unfortunately, that is all for him, just exclusively dating. just having fun. I though we had it good. I am special but he never wanted a serious relationship because he knew he will leave soon. That hurt like hell but I have to keep a straight face. Still I love him so so much. I visited him few months after he settled down in a new country. Then I wanted to move on and didnt text him for 2 months. He greeted me one day and there goes my stupid heart again. I visited him again just last week but I promised myself this will be the last. He had told me about his goals of getting his dream job before settling down (like around 40). That he needs to take the risk while he’s still young because it is hard to do that if he will have a family now. He’s not saying it directly but obviously it means don’t get your hopes up. It hurts to hear that but I just tell him everytime that I hope he reach his goals soon. I do really want him to be successful.
    I have only dated one Italian guy but I guess one thing is true, they don’t want any serious relationship, they won’t settle down until they reach 40, which to them is still young.
    Ah, why do we fall for such men. It sucks.

  3. Avatar
    June 23, 2018
    Reply

    I totally agree with Kathleen.Italian men are asshole.I married to Italian guy for 10 yrs and 2beautiful children’s.In the beginning of our relationship everything is like they will reach the stars for you ,but after honeymoon is over and had our daughter everything change.He never help me with the kids and mama is always their bailing him.At first I’m okey cause it’s almost similar to my culture but everytime mama always wants to know what’s going on in our lives. Until we have constantly arguing for stupid reason until one day when I came back from work he told me ,he went out with his co worker .He told me after a year and he almost get fired at work. Then that day he told me ” he loves me but not in love with me” he doesn’t want to work on our marriage cause he wants to meet new people cause when were dating he never date with other women. Which he is. Italian man are very rude,controlling and dominating. They are asshole. Now we are separated for 2yrs.

  4. Avatar
    Darcy
    May 5, 2018
    Reply

    I was with an Italian man for 4 years and was Basically his mum. He told me everyday how beautiful I was and seemed to love me unconditionally. Until I started to push him to better himself and stopped being at his disposal. He even asked for my hand in marriage 3 times during our time together and I wanted to, but on my terms. Anyway he dropped me in a day !! started sleeping around and became verbally and was physically abusive. I told him I was pregnant and he said to abort as he wants nothing to do with it. A real shock to the system after everything we had been through together and the life I gave up for him.
    Just be careful ladies I’ve never met anyone with 2 faces like this man before. There seems to be a pattetn as he also had all of the possessive and sexual traits as stated above.

  5. Avatar
    Cyndi
    March 22, 2017
    Reply

    Hello folks
    Very interesting comments and suggestions
    I just met an Italian man and just didn’t know what to expect
    Thanks for the tips
    Cyndip

  6. Avatar
    Elizabeth Clark
    September 2, 2016
    Reply

    What is an Italian marriage like? Long ago an Italian man wanted me to move home to be engaged and I had been living away from home for 10 yrs. Result. relationship ended. Wonder about Italian culture.
    Now married to Australian man. Would this Australian woman have been expected to change to Italian culture with cooking Italian meals and stay at home or keep working as well as cooking? Often wondered.
    Australian men do not mind where their girls live. Why do Italian men like their girls to live at home before marriage?

    Anomyous

  7. Avatar
    Sharon Renyard
    September 1, 2016
    Reply

    They certainly know what they’re doing – I’ve just been out with an Italian guy for the first time & seeing him again at the weekend. Super charming & hard to resist, but resist I will!

  8. Avatar
    anna maria
    August 8, 2016
    Reply

    i wan italian men be my husband … who can help me … ??
    thank u

  9. Avatar
    Eugenia Lieu
    May 19, 2016
    Reply

    I would like to say I am a coarse-face, and I am proud of the brand I am. Through anamorphosis, my jaw has a sidelong angle in Evolution, and will be an emblem of The North. This is like the Harvard Student Thorsten Pattberg had wrote on the East-West Dichotomy. But Italians are only proud to be refined as The French is.

  10. Avatar
    Vicky
    April 3, 2016
    Reply

    Can you write something on how to get over an Italian guy please. I fell in love with one and I can’t shake it. He was ridiculously charming. He meant everything to me even though it was a short relationship. Then he got jealous and dumped me. I don’t think I did anything wrong. He was stubborn evidently and didn’t want to hear what I had to say. We’re still in touch, which is probably not helping me. I need to not love him anymore as I’m sure he’ll never feel the same way for me again.

    • Avatar
      Kathleen
      July 6, 2016
      Reply

      Get over him. Italians don’t play games. They will contact u so very often, but they want nothing permanent. They are jealous and possessive. No matter how much u show you love him…trust is not their Strongsuit. IN the beginning, they treat u like a princess, buy you clothes, expensive jewelry, show you off to their friends. But Honey, he is an asshole. He will cut you off in a day and leave you bleeding among all the nice things he gave yiu. One last thing, if his family doesn’t like you, get prepared for an immediate Ending. Italian men suck and they are not great lovers as people think. I married one and dated some If you are pretty enough to appeal to him, you can find a lover who will treat you right. We don’t love Italians, we love the way they flaunt us, and we àre left \to bleed over the furs,and jewelry..whatever.

  11. Avatar
    Charlotte
    February 4, 2016
    Reply

    Vicky I’m in the same predicament that you’re in and I’m wondering is it true because he’s so charming is so sweet he tells me everything I want you and if you get an answer to that question please pass it on to me

  12. Avatar
    Elena
    January 19, 2016
    Reply

    I’m a northern Italian woman, italian men aren’t all the same. For example, I’m not my exes’ friend. Although some Italians have the habit you’ve written, there is no such thing as I dated a guy who kept on hang-out with his former girlfriend. My ex boyfriends never did it, as well as my husband. In my family this attitude means you still have feelings for your ex and you keep holding the door open.

  13. Avatar
    Amaya
    January 5, 2016
    Reply

    I have a thing for Italians (Just European men in general, but mostly Italian). I’ve been learning the language for a while now and I love hearing it and speaking it. An Italian man is staying in my town for a few more months and I’m completely smitten. He plays games on me and enjoys making things a competition with me. I sometimes catch him watching me and since he’s learned my plans on going to Italy he’s been super excited to see me. I don’t know if he likes me or not because he talks constantly about other girls. If you have any advice or even a comment I’d love to know! Thank you 🙂

  14. Avatar
    Vickie
    December 29, 2015
    Reply

    I have met a guy threw a friend on a website. He now tells me he loves me. We have never met in person is this normal for Italiain men. We have only been chatting for a couple weeks. He has seen my pictures on FB.

  15. Avatar
    Lyza
    November 16, 2015
    Reply

    I just want make friends with an Italian men… Thankz

  16. Avatar
    August 23, 2015
    Reply

    What a very enlightening article. 🙂 Especially helpful for when/if I go to Italy. I’ve always been intrigued by Italian men.

    • Avatar
      Vicky
      April 3, 2016
      Reply

      Don’t fall for one! It will destroy you if it doesn’t work out!

  17. Kala
    March 15, 2015
    Reply

    Thanks for sharing Sharon!

    I had an Italian man follow me around, courting me for the entire 3 days I was in Rome – persistence just comes with the territory I guess! The confidence allowed him to not care that he couldn’t communication well with words to me – but instead he brought flowers and beer and showed me all the hot spots he likes to hang out!

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