What it’s Really Like to Date Italian Men

February 27, 2015
What it's Really Like to Date Italian Men

Italians have a very particular way of doing things. They are proud of their heritage and love their home country. It’s why their brand is famous worldwide.  This may also be what makes Italian men so self-assured when approaching foreign women. Many will basically pick girls up anywhere, anytime. From asking what book you are reading on the metro, to asking if you know where the wine is in the supermarket, to literally stopping you in the street with a moped (yup, happened) they will flirt with you.

Many guys will offer a personal tour of the city, which can be quite romantic if you’re into him. Another popular dating opener is to ask you for private English lessons. A teacher friend of mine got stung with this a number of times. Italian men also have an open-minded and friendly approach to dating. Say he happens to be your boss, or maybe the friend of your ex—if everyone is cool with it, he will take the bull by the horns.

Italians often think that foreign women are just looking for a good time, which is why they are so forward with us. This can have an upside though as they do make an effort to get your attention. Want to know what to expect? Here are some tips:

What’s It’s Really Like to Date Italian Men

Dating Wine Glasses

How to Deal with the Ex-Factor

Due to this open-mindedness, Italian men are often still close friends with their exes. A girl I know was invited to dinner with her boyfriend’s ex and her family, which she politely declined. I am often invited to stay over with my man in his exes’ homes who live in different Italian cities. It’s totally normal for many Italian guys to have cinema and dinner dates with their exes while dating someone new.

This can be construed as a negative point about dating here. But, it has also taught me to be more open and to trust more fully. My northern European approach to dating and avoiding exes like the plague can look downright cold to big-hearted Italians.

I turned down many advances from my first Italian boss until he finally gave up after I refused to go to the opera with him. What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men?

How to Turn Down an Italian Man

The boldness of Italian men can make turning them down a bit tricky. I turned down many advances from my first Italian boss until he finally gave up after I refused to go to the opera with him. I was tempted though, the Opera House in Rome is to die for! Still, I didn’t go for it.

My job remained and the situation finally ended, but it had gone on for months. Many Italians have since advised me that it’s best to spell it out in no uncertain terms from the start when you’re not interested. Otherwise, they might think it’s a game of chase.

My friends and I have often been perplexed to find men thinking they are in after a smile and a brief conversation. But it’s all in good fun so it goes with the territory.

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What to Expect on an Italian Date

Italy has a lot to offer when it comes to beauty and romantic hang outs. When an Italian brings you on a date chances are, it will be a memorable one, at least for the ambience alone. I once had an amazing date in a secluded hilltop bar in Rome. My partner wasn’t what I was looking for but the stunning wraparound view of the city lights certainly made for a great night nonetheless!

As for date conversation, English at a good level is not as widespread as you might think in Rome. My friends and I like to hang out in local bars and clubs that aren’t touristy. Many of my friends have started dating guys who they could barely speak to in the beginning! (Hence the English lessons pick up line). But hey, there’s nothing like adding a little mystery to a date…

So, have fun. Romantic and confident Italian men, coupled with the atmosphere and weather of Italy, can make for a pretty magical dating scene.

What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men?

Date Italian Men
Sharon in Italy

What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men?

Related Reading

How to Date an Italian Man
After Giving Up on Finding Romance in Italy, This is What Happened
Italian Men: My Ultimate Weakness
Moving to Italy, Learning Italian, and Falling in Love
Ciao, Bella!: On Being a Foreign Woman in Italy
Tips for Women Travelers in Italy

Have you dated Italian men? What were your impressions? Email us at editor@pinkpangea.com for information abuto sharing your experience and advice with the Pink Pangea community. We can’t wait to hear from you. Italian Men: The Unofficial Guide. What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men.


Photo credits for What’s It Really Like to Date Italian Men? by Unsplash.com. 

About Sharon Moran

Sharon Moran is a professional singer and freelance writer in Rome, living in a beautiful countryside villa with her Roman man while still working in the eternal city.

22 thoughts on “What it’s Really Like to Date Italian Men

  1. KAYE
    October 12, 2023

    Hello, my name is Kaye. I have been reading most of the comments here and it’s quite unfortunate that I am in the same predicament as many women here who experienced dating Italians. I guess the only thing fortunate from my part is I haven’t met the Italian guy that I have been messaging with for almost five years. We are in an LDR relationship. I met him in some random dating site. We talk, we videocall, and we exchange text messages for almost everyday. He is attractive but not the kind of guy I was looking for but I eventually fell for him since he became my emotional outlet. He had been listening to my problems at work and problems with my family and I thought he had my back. Until these past few months, he became more busy and he had been texting very less. I wanted more of his attention but I get a few until he decided to ghost me. He blocked my phone number and I was not able to contact him anymore. I was devastated, heartbroken, and confused. I was actually worried if something bad really happened to him but my instincts tell me that he’s fine and unharmed. It only happened a month ago and right now I have been taking steps to detach my feelings from him and convincing myself everyday that I can be happy on my own. I realized that it was my mistake because I allowed myself to fall in-love with my own ideal and I never really knew the guy in real life. For what it’s worth, he had been good to me for almost five years and maybe he fall out of love and he’s one of those guys who doesn’t know how to communicate their feelings. He just uncovered his true self by ghosting me and feel no regard about my feelings. For that, I guess I’m glad that I haven’t met him in real life and I don’t want to be involved with someone who are emotional immature and a coward man in my life.

  2. Ria
    May 30, 2019

    I’m a Filipina (31) and had this Italian guy (32) whom I’ve chatted on/off for almost 3 years now. Just this month, he decided to visit me here in my country for 3 weeks (to see me). I guess, we now official boyfriend/girlfriend. But we didn’t post our pics together in fb. A year ago (July/August), I decided to break up with him (had a feeling that he got a new girlfriend and keeping me on the other side) due to the distance. Told him, its better were just friends. He agreed to be just friends so the daily communication in messenger stopped. I’ve also unfriended him in fb (I can still see the lovey-dovey post of him and his ex whom he said extorted money from him so he broke up with her). I was also stalking on the girl (haha I still can’t move on since I can still see their pics together). I also unfriended him in order to move on. But before the break-up, we were making plans to travel together. Since we’ve broke up I told my best friend (I didn’t tell her about the Italian guy) I wanna visit them in NZ. Then, the Italian guy found out that month after, I’ve unfriended (in fb) him. In order to not sound bitter, I made a lie that I’ve accidentally unfriended him since I was unfriending people I don’t know in fb. He’s also friends with my sister in fb. I added him again in fb (he posted on my fb wall which my mom and sis reacted). Both mom and sis knew were no longer an item. After that break-up, we started to chat again tho i’ve been cautious and just stay as friends. At that time, we chatted 3 times a week. Sometimes, we exchanged pics of the things we normally do at home & work. Then, I told him I am going to NZ to visit my bestfriend. He knows about my bestfriend and my dream to visit NZ. So we keep in touch more frequently.Told me when I will have my holidays in NZ. The communication we had increased when I was in NZ. It was everyday chatting and he was keen on videochatting. He also expressed his fear that I might not be back to my country which worries him. We would be really worlds’ apart. In one of our chat, he asked when its possible to met me personally whom I told him that next year (2020) will also be fine but in my mind, it won’t happen since I will be going to apply for a study visa in NZ the year after. To my surprise, he ask if its possible to met earlier which I said okay. So he asked what month is best to visit. I made a suggestion that May 2019 would be good since its summer. He really came here after 3 years on/off online relationship we had. During our holidays together, he’s been telling me about his country, the good things there, what season is the best to visit (which I told him that if I will visit one day probably next year). He’s met my family and relatives, got to experience what’s its like in my country. Some of the stereotypes I’ve read here, I’ve seen in him but not the mama’s boy. He didn’t have a good relationship with his mom and he grew up not close to his dad. Now, I’m feeling confused because half of me wants to be together with him in Italy but half of me wants to go back to NZ( to study and work). I also don’t want to pressure him much about what we have at the moment but he has mentioned about having family together in the future. Now, he’s back to his country. I’ve contemplated if he will be serious to move to the next step of our relationship…

  3. ross
    April 6, 2019

    So I have dated an Italian guy for almost a year 2+ years ago. I fell so hard because he’s the most romantic, passionate and caring person I’ve known. Unfortunately, that is all for him, just exclusively dating. just having fun. I though we had it good. I am special but he never wanted a serious relationship because he knew he will leave soon. That hurt like hell but I have to keep a straight face. Still I love him so so much. I visited him few months after he settled down in a new country. Then I wanted to move on and didnt text him for 2 months. He greeted me one day and there goes my stupid heart again. I visited him again just last week but I promised myself this will be the last. He had told me about his goals of getting his dream job before settling down (like around 40). That he needs to take the risk while he’s still young because it is hard to do that if he will have a family now. He’s not saying it directly but obviously it means don’t get your hopes up. It hurts to hear that but I just tell him everytime that I hope he reach his goals soon. I do really want him to be successful.
    I have only dated one Italian guy but I guess one thing is true, they don’t want any serious relationship, they won’t settle down until they reach 40, which to them is still young.
    Ah, why do we fall for such men. It sucks.

  4. June 23, 2018

    I totally agree with Kathleen.Italian men are asshole.I married to Italian guy for 10 yrs and 2beautiful children’s.In the beginning of our relationship everything is like they will reach the stars for you ,but after honeymoon is over and had our daughter everything change.He never help me with the kids and mama is always their bailing him.At first I’m okey cause it’s almost similar to my culture but everytime mama always wants to know what’s going on in our lives. Until we have constantly arguing for stupid reason until one day when I came back from work he told me ,he went out with his co worker .He told me after a year and he almost get fired at work. Then that day he told me ” he loves me but not in love with me” he doesn’t want to work on our marriage cause he wants to meet new people cause when were dating he never date with other women. Which he is. Italian man are very rude,controlling and dominating. They are asshole. Now we are separated for 2yrs.

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