Coming Out in Cancun
Waiting in the terminal to board my plane for my first solo trip was both exciting and terrifying. In order to celebrate my newly acquired bachelor’s degree and Paramedic Certificate I purchased a ticket to Cancun and a stay at an all-inclusive resort. Pampering, recharging, and journaling were on my dance card. While I loved to backpack, and explore other cultures, I decided to pick something easy for my first solo venture. Adjusting to spending time by myself would be my hardest hurdle.It took a passport, a few thousand miles, and a language barrier to feel safe enough to explore a deep and scary place inside of me.
From the safety of solitude and an environment rich for self-discovery, I was able to hurdle 25 years of an ultra-conservative upbringing to understand my sexuality as homosexual and be okay with the truth that made me.
Therapists often use medication to help delve into hard-to-reach places such as this one, but travel provided me the same supplement. I was already outside of the confinements of my comfort zones, so I was able to branch out and explore myself without my usual hinderances. Just as I see the world in a whole different light, so did I see myself from a different vantage.
While I loved to backpack, and explore other cultures, I decided to pick something easy for my first solo travel. Adjusting to spending time by myself would be my hardest hurdle.
Lounging against a palm tree, pressing my feet through the white sand, with only the Caribbean bearing witness, I felt clarity of thought that I had not known. This peace was accompanied by a newfound truth. It was an “Ah ha” moment. Pieces of my life that previously left me baffled, fell into place as if I had placed the last card of solitaire in-play. I thought back to all of the relationships and friendships I had, and understood my loneliness and dissatisfaction with them.
Ironically, the solution from that loneliness was isolation, in a foreign country. Cancun provided a maternal safety, surrounding me with water and the soothing sounds it made as the tide ebbed and flowed. Added to that, I was separated from the idiosyncrasies of normality, which provided the energy and freedom to assign my mind new tasks.
Instead of worrying about dinner, bills, or laundry, I was able to work on issues in my life that were unreachable when added to daily life. Granted, this is not the only way to self discover. However, I would say that it is arguably the most fun, and for me, it’s been proven to be the most effective!