Why South Korean Women Feel Like Second Class Citizens

May 12, 2014

South Korean Women: Feeling Like a Second-Class Citizen

Generally, women in South Korea are fragile.

I sat on my couch, in my new apartment, on my first night in Korea, reading the orientation booklet that my new boss had handed me earlier that day.

“Korea has been a male dominated society for a long time. Korean women have not been educated to stand alone.”

Having this knowledge upon arrival probably got me started on the wrong foot. From day one, I had my eyes peeled for any signs that men dominated society here. Turns out I didn’t have to search very hard.

My students love to to ask me, “Are you married?” It’s a perfectly innocent question, but it is one only asked to women, never men.

I was told early on by my recruitment agent and fellow teachers, that if I was a smoker, I should avoid doing it in public. It’s okay for men, but it is very frowned upon for women to do so.

My students love to to ask me, “Are you married?” It’s a perfectly innocent question, but it is one only asked to women, never men.

Recently one of my young female students asked me why I wasn’t married. “I don’t want to be married right now,” I told her.

She nodded seriously, “Me neither. My mom told me when you get married, you take care of the whole house and cook all the time.” I had to laugh. We agreed that wouldn’t be any fun.

I thought it would be different among Korean youth, and that young men and women would be more equal, but I’m not convinced yet.

I was told early on that if I was a smoker, I should avoid doing it in public. It’s okay for men, but it is very frowned upon for women to do so.

As my boyfriend, Luke, and I sat at a local bar recently, we were approached by a young couple who invited us to play darts with them. We had a good time, speaking English and broken Korean, and being generally terrible at darts. At the end of the game, the young guy introduced himself to Luke. After they shook hands, I readied myself for my turn, but it never came. They both turned to leave with a smile and a wave. My name wasn’t important.

I want to be patient, to understand that this is a cultural norm that goes back to their Confucian roots. I want to be more accepting and open my eyes to all of the good things that come from these societal positions. But my all-girls-school, tough-chick, feminist side is screaming inside. I am an equal.

The longer I’m here, the more I hear these kinds of stories or experience the female role in Korean society. Female teachers do not speak up in meetings or lose control of their emotions in upsetting situations. I know it’s getting better all the time and a lot of what I experience could probably be said about my very own country. In fact, Korea has beaten the United States to their first female president. It can make a girl wonder.